i crawled into her hospital bed, snuggled my face into what remained of her thinning hair. i was sad, of course i was. how could i not be? my mother was my champion, my soul friend, one of the great loves of my life and soon… soon the color will drain from her beautiful face and inevitably from my beautiful life. what choice do i have? i could shrink into the nothingness of a life without a mother’s love, or… or i can add the color back. i can add color wildly, passionately, crazily, wherever i go. she always told me, ‘enjoy your life, be happy.’ and now, with everything that i tear apart, glue together, paint, shoot, place upon a canvas - all of it is because i am keeping the promise i made to my mother. there’s a place where joy continues to flourish. i hope to see you there.